Sunday, July 01, 2012

Blog Stats

Almost every single day Sometimes I browse my blog stats because I'm completely obsessed with my blog I'm mildly curious to know who might be reading my blog. And let me tell you, the stats are fascinating.

I guess I should begin by making it very clear that while I secretly wish that thousands of people (or dozens--let's be realistic) were constantly happening upon my blog, falling in love with my awkwardness and social anxiety, and becoming faithful followers, I'm 110% sure that my blog has exactly 9 readers. And most of you are family (thanks for reading, mom!). So, when I say "fascinating," I mostly mean boring and occasionally surprising/entertaining/weird?.

The blog stat I'm most obsessed with is the pageview count. See, blogger keeps track of every time someone goes to your blog, and then it creates a running tally and little graph of the numbers. This information is completely useless to me because a. I don't really see any correlation between the highs and lows of this number and what's going on on my blog, and b. I'm pretty sure half the pageviews are me. But regardless, every time I look at this stats page I become irrationally preoccupied with making the number grow until I achieve ultimate blogger success. (I will get back to you on what this means.) For now, I will tell you that my June numbers were abysmal. It was very sad. It's probably because I posted about things like running, and driving, and drunk people. Sorry team.

Most of the stats are completely meaningless, but mildly interesting in a pause-briefly-to-try-to-find-some-deep-meaning-but-quickly-realize-that-it-doesn't-mean-anything kind of way. Like 60% of my audience views my blog using Safari, 24% using Chrome, and 11% using Firefox. And 64% of my audience uses a Mac, 22% uses windows, and 12% use an iPad, iPhone or iPod. Also, I potentially have a Russian stalker (Привет!) because 216 of my pageviews are from Russia.

And then there's the search keywords. This is a list of things that people actually typed into a Google search, and my blog came up, and they clicked on it (and then immediately navigated back to their Google search once they realized they weren't going to get any legit info). Some highlights:

"don't be glad it's night, be gladys knight"
"college is cruel"
"Kristin Lowe accountant"
"liz lemon yes to love yes to life yes to staying in more"
"prom organiser falls for the long haired bad boy"

My blog is really going places.

Now, all you need to do is go back in your browser, and then come to my blog again. And then do that like 20 times. That way when I pour over my blog stats tonight I can pretend like the pageview peak is a direct reflection of my charm and sparkling personality.


Elisa said...

I'm one of the peeps who views your blog in Chromse. Obsessively.

julie said...

And I like to be mysterious, so I sometimes view your blog in Safari, and sometimes in Firefox. And if I'm ever in Russia, I'll check your blog to bring that stat up to 217...

Josephine said...

What's with Russian blog stalkers anyway?