I feel like I need to take a deep breath. This semester I have this constant tightness in my chest whenever I think about my life. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have no idea where I will end up next Fall. I'm incredibly attached to my life and friends here. I'm paralyzed by the thought of my letter of intent being inadequate, my writing sample being trite and childish, and completely failing the GRE. It is not the end of the world if I don't get into the masters program at BYU. But it kind of feels that way, doesn't it?
Last night, as my roommate confirmed, I was making incredibly weird noises in my sleep. Though Michelle couldn't recreate the sounds, she said she was startled by the noises and my tossing and turning. In my mind there was a man in our kitchen and I was trying to tell him to leave, but I couldn't speak! And then someone was shaking my bed—I was petrified—and I couldn't speak! So, sad attempts at sound came out as desparate mumbles and groans. That's what I get for going to bed at a ridiculous hour like 10:00 pm.
I went to see Matt Hopper tonight with my roommate (yes I hung out with Michelle perhaps for the first time). I had fun.
Everything is going to be fine.