Thursday, June 07, 2012

Running

A week and a half ago I decided I was going to start running. Three times a week at least. I would start with two miles and work my way up. And then, soon, I would become one of those people who casually says, "Oh yeah, I did a 6-mile run last night," or "I love running--it's like a drug," or "I can't imagine not starting my day with an hour-long sprint." We hate these people. They think they're so superior to all the average lazy people. But I wanted to join their smug health-nut ranks so I could look down on all of you for "watching TV all evening," or "doing homework." I would buy brand-new neon running shoes. I would look good in running shorts. I would become a runner.

I think we all know how this ends. 

Let's begin with day one. I managed to convince myself to put on my running clothes right when I got home from work. This is key. If I put on my running clothes before thinking through the act of running then I can shame myself into actually going because it feels like complete and utter failure to change out of exercise clothes without actually exercising. So, I tied my Asics, put my running mix on shuffle, and headed up the hill. As my feet pounded the concrete to Christina Aguilera's "Come on Over," I tried every mental trick I know to make myself believe I was having fun. I tried to think about long-term goals. I tried to tell myself that this could be fun if I did it more often. I tried to think about breathing deeply. And then I tried to think about absolutely nothing. The 2.2-mile route seemed completely endless. And all the reasons that the 457 other times that I've decided to "become a runner" haven't panned out came rushing back to me. I just barely finished the run.

Days two to present: Take a wild guess. 

But I've hardly had time for running anyway because I have been devoting some really quality time to watching Dawson's Creek (90's teen dramas!), and feeding an odd obsession with Disney animated musical numbers. Like this:



See, she used her brains to conquer physical tasks and then became a master of everything because of it (obviously)! She would've killed becoming a runner. 

2 comments:

Elisa said...

Running is so overrated. I'm impressed just by this isolated run you went on. You did it! You totally deserve to feel smug!

Also: DAWSON'S CREEEEEEEEEEK!!!

Josephine said...

It's really hard for me to believe that anyone actually likes running.