Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Back at Home

In attempts to distract my parents (and myself) from the fact that I'm 25 and once again sleeping in my childhood room, I've taken up various projects around the house to appear useful. Projects like yard work, tearing down our old playhouse, painting, scanning woodworking magazines, and organizing the kitchen. I know, riveting. So, the other day I was going through the paint cabinet in the garage, opening old paint cans in order to see what paint had dried out to clear space for new cans. One by one I'm wedging the lids off each can of paint, almost vomiting at molding paint in more than one can (who knew paint could mold?), when I come to the wood sealer. Now at this point I'm about 23 paint cans into the project, so I'm in my efficient mode. I know exactly how many locations I need to wedge the paint can opener in order to loosen the lid just enough to get it off. So, I'm on my second of three wedges, in the zone, when the lid to the wood sealer explodes onto my face. Explodes. I'm talking lid slowly spinning towards my chin before impact as the contents of the can spray all over my clothes and face. Immediately, my ninth-grade science lab training kicks in (thank you Science Officers Kojis and Houck), and I run to the sink to rinse out my eyes. As I'm standing with my head sideways, cold water running through my eyes, I begin to accept my new life as a blind person. I wonder who will remain my friend in my new condition, and I begin to slowly panic when I realize that EVERYTHING involves seeing. Using a computer--all about sight. Driving--all about sight. Texting. Playing boggle. Eating. I humbly accept my fate. And then I turn the water off, and slowly open my eyes. While I am still completely covered in sealer that probably won't come off until I grow a new layer of skin, my vision is fine.

And thank goodness because my mom and I are in the middle of season 7 of Gilmore Girls, and listening to GG is just not the same. BTW--I'd forgotten how fun it is to watch GG with someone who's never seen it before. My mom was SHOCKED when Christopher and Lorelai got married. It's been so long since I've been anything but mildly annoyed by that minor-road-block-in-the-way-of-the-meant-to-be ending.



Kim said...

I can't even believe it - a new post in just over a week!

And how has mom never seen all of Gilmore Girls?! I feel like I've seen each episode way too many times for her to not have seen them all...

Also, I could not stop laughing from this post.

Renny said...

This post made me laugh out loud.

Good work. I'm glad you're not blind!